Lou Lou “ Squirrel Patrol”
There has been a lot of squirrel chatter over the wire lately. We here at Squirrel Patrol found it necessary to raise the threat level to “WHITE” , mainly because we are snow blind, not that “WHITE” is worse then “RED”.
Squirrel Patrol’s intel has led us to believe that a very nasty female Tree Rat by the name of “Mo Mo Maureen” has infiltrated our country. She has one of the worst histories of despicable treatment of anyone that might happen to cross her path.
We are asking the public to be on the look out for a short, blonde, tree rat that looks a lot like a smurf. If spotted do not try to apprehend, this one will require a gas mask and a tranquilizer gun.
Taking them down one at a time,